One of my former coworkers once called me a “jack of all trades” – I was in a very different position at the time, not in the classroom, so I did my job as well as a bunch of other random stuff I happened to be good at. That ranged from helping with testing to doing complicated scheduling… I was all over the place. When she said it, I laughed and thanked her for the compliment, but inside I was telling myself “jack of all trades, sure… but master of none.” You see, I really do have a wide range of skills. Some of them are much more useful than others. However, I tend to feel that there isn’t anything I’m super amazingly good at. Others who know me may beg to differ, but I have always been hardest on myself. I am actually planning on writing a post at another time about perfectionism, as I have gained a ton of incredible insight from an online course I’m taking this summer.
The negative self-talk has resulted in a pattern that happens when I try new things – I tend to start things and not finish them. It’s a pattern, but it doesn’t define me, and I can change it. I have random art supplies strewn all around my home office. I’m talking opened but otherwise untouched Amazon boxes, new-in-package canvases… even a sewing machine that I should really learn to use so I can stop paying a tailor $30 to hem a dress for my short self. I am decently artistic, and I’m sure with practice I could be pretty good at some of it. I think deep down my tendency to jump around to different interests stems from thinking even with practice I won’t be that good at anything, so I might as well not try. This is something I’ve read a lot about in my online course about advanced learners this summer – when faced with challenge, many students will shut down and choose not to try instead of risking failure. For me, it’s kind of ridiculous – nobody needs to know if I try watercolor painting and totally suck at it, even with a ton of practice. I can just throw it away and move on to something else. I’ve decided that this is one of the things I am going to focus on moving forward in my journey to reject ordinary. The biggest thing I know will be hard to follow through on is actually this blog – I’ve started a blog a couple of times in the past, but never kept up. I’m determined to change that this time, though. I’m actually putting it out there on social media, and am going to make a real effort to grow and develop it as a way to share my story.
One of my goals in the next couple weeks before I go back to school is to organize this mess of a room, and set up the storage cart I got for Christmas (still in the box, haha). That way, I will have a visual of all the things I’ve bought or asked for but have barely tried. I want to start and finish a new project at least once a month. It can be as simple as a small woodburning project to give as a gift, or learning a new lettering technique. I’m going to keep track of ideas and completed projects in my bullet journal (post on that coming in the future as well), and post them on social media with the hashtag #12projectsin12months. I look forward to updating you all on my progress each month!